Sail on Silver Girl....

Mooselookmeguntic Lake, Sunset

Pushing off with my paddle I almost immediately regretted my decision for a sunset kayak ride.  The lake was choppy - the waves cresting in white caps and my kayak bobbed up and down like a cork.  I am not equipped nor experienced for such rough water.

Such is life.  So often I find myself in rough water, and immediately feel unequipped, unprepared -I have no business being out here.  I have felt that way in business, health, relationships....  the water is rough.  I can't swim. What am I doing here? Surely, I'll drown.  

Sunset Paddle

As I settled in to paddling and getting a good rhythm going, I was caught in between mini-fits of panic and sheer delight. I dipped my paddle left, right, left right... pause.. roll over the wave, readjust... left, right, dip, paddle... wee!!!   Eeeek!  It seemed every seventh wave was stronger than the others and splashed over the top of my kayak, showering me with warm lake water.  The air was still warm and muggy, the night sky was a canvas of watercolors.... I was never more terrified and excited at the same time.  I AM alive!


Ah! Again! Such is LIFE!  Terrifying, rewarding, crazy, brilliant, beautiful!  Thrilling!

Hard to believe I am turning 39 the next day.  Thirty nine - didn't I just turn 29?  I guess if you want to describe the last decade of my life, this lake is a perfect analogy - choppy, rough, scary, crazy, thrilling, beautiful, fun.  I managed to paddle through the troubled waters of the last few years. 

Sail on silver girl
Sail on by
Your time has come to shine
All your dreams are on their way
See how they shine 

Common Loon, Mooselookmeguntic Lake

The wind whipped down from the north creating what my Dad always called a "Salmon Ripple".... and the sun cascaded swirls of orange, pink and lavender into the waves.  A loon cried out a mournful howl.  She was missing her mate.  She let out another long cry.  I spotted her bobbing up and down on the same waves that were challenging me.  Her black feathers as dark as night, her white spots glowing in the dimming light - like diamonds.  From across the cove I heard her mate answer in short, reassuring cries - I'm here! I'm here! I'm here!  She immediately dove into the dark waves and was gone to join her partner.   I was left to drift on the waves alone.  But I'm not alone.  Just like that loon, I can reach out to my partner, and he would be there.  In fact, he will be up to camp around midnight tonight to celebrate my birthday with me.  I'm here! I'm here! I'm here!  I couldn't wait to see him and tell him about my adventure.

Calm Waters, Mooselookmeguntic Lake

I paddled to a cove, and even though I was still on the great big lake of Mooselookmeguntic that just a few feet away was churning up white caps that threatened to swamp my kayak, the cove was as smooth as glass.  From here, I was able to watch the sun dip down into the mountains.   I could see the loons, now reunited floating enjoying the calm refuge of the cove.  I wondered what made the loon leave her partner to venture out into the churning waves to begin with.  The clouds exploded with light, rays of sun bursting up into the sky  - turning the clouds into fluorescent shades of hot pink, blazing orange and magenta.  The moon that would be full in a few days - the Blue Moon, glowed behind me.  Although it was hard to take my eyes off the glorious fireball sunset, I decided I had better turn back to camp.  Now I was facing South East, to  Bald Mountain. Looking at the summit from the vantage point of the lake, I smiled at the thought that Destiny is up there, looking down at me.   I am glad I spread her ashes on top of a mountain.  She loved to watch the world go by.... and I was extremely comforted to know she was with me now.  I paddled on....

As if the sun pulled an off switch on a ceiling fan as it set, the wind subsided and the lake became calm.  I gently paddled back to camp, the only sounds were the splashing of the waves against the bow of my boat, and the splashing of my paddles.  Dip, splash... splash... dip...

I thought about the rough waters in my life, and realized I was well equipped to handle the waves.  I had a sturdy vessel, I have a partner in my life who loves and supports me, I have experience, wisdom, and knowledge.  I knew where to look for calm coves to get reprieve.  I have the Universe guiding me and creating beauty.  I can trust myself to navigate.   Sail on Silver Girl....

As the dock came into view, the moon that would be full in a couple days - marking the "Blue Moon"  glowed and the darkened lake glistened in greeting to the moon beams.  All my dreams are on their way... see how they shine....  Sail on Silver Girl...

Paradise is Here, Paradise is Now .... Paradise is paddling through rough water....