I have looming deadlines, I have copy to create and get to my graphic designer, outlines to prepare, drafts to write. Each task to get to the end result felt daunting and painful. But the end result will be so amazing! I am creating amazing Mastermind groups that I will facilitate, and I am writing my book. Those two things thrill me! When I think of myself holding a book, bound and printed smelling of fresh ink, with "written by Priscilla Hansen" embossed on the front cover...(and of course a gold sticker on the front announcing it on the New York's Best Sellers List) I get so excited I could leap out of my skin. When I think about the Mastermind classes, and the throngs of people I plan to have sign up and share in this amazing experience - my heart skips a beat. I want to achieve these goals so much, I dream about them... I think about them while brushing my teeth, while taking a shower, while driving to work... So why does each step I need to take to get there feel like my feet are encased in cement? I even took four days off to dedicate to my efforts... and at the end of day three, I didn't have much more to show for it, besides a cleaner apartment, a neatly arranged junk drawer, and read two books that other people had written.
Frustrated at my writers block, I decided to "procrastinate" a little more and take Lexi for a walk. I pulled on my Merrill hiking boots, and Lexi immediately recognized this as a sign that we were about to have an adventure. Spinning in circles, she whirled like a top until I was finally on my feet and walking behind her. She bounded ahead, then glanced back quickly to make sure I was still following, and hadn't played a terrible trick on her by changing my mind.
No matter how many times we walk the path, no matter how many chipmunks she chases, and no matter how many times she comes up empty... she never, ever gives up the chase. She never says "Why bother." In fact... the thrill is in the chase.
The thrill is in the chase.
See the dog and butterfly; up in the air he like to fly.
Dog and butterfly; below she had to try.
She roll back down to the warm soft ground, laughing
She don't know why, she don't know why
Dog and butterfly
So I stopped in my tracks and I asked myself, "Lexi wants to catch a chipmunk... What do you want?"
I want to be a writer ... echoed the answer.
"So you want to write a book?"
Well.. ya...but more importantly - I want to write. I want to live the life of a writer. I want to create, I want words to flow, I want to have that feeling of satisfaction when people are touched by what I write.
Maybe it's livin' making us give in.
We finally rounded the corner of the path, and entered the pole line where the terrain opens up to thick blueberry shrubs, blackberry thickets and long grasses. The chipmunks became a distant memory to Lexi, and grasshoppers, birds, and yes, even butterflies became the objects of Lexi's desires... and she skittered around the corner kicking up sand and pebbles in hot pursuit. Laughing to the sky, up to the sky ...
Paradise is Here, Paradise is Now.... Paradise is in the chase....