When Lexi Smiles....

When you're smiling, when you're smiling
The whole world smiles with you
When you're laughing, when you're laughing
The sun comes shining through ~ Louis Armstrong

One of my greatest "pick me ups" is sitting at a red light, and looking in the review mirror, and seeing Lexi sitting in the back of my Subaru, looking out the back window, and smiling at the people in the cars behind her... and seeing them smile back.

Some people are harder to crack than others.  Some are consumed in their own world, running their to-do lists in their heads, perhaps they are sending a text message or email at the red light (a no-no... ) or perhaps they have the weight of the world on their shoulders as they drive from point A, to point B.... but eventually -it might take 2 or 3 red lights to get them... but Lexi always wins.  They look up... notice the white dog staring intently at them, and even though I can't see Lexi's facial expression, I can tell by the way her ears flip up, then down, then up again... she flashes them that award winning smile.  Some people laugh out loud and tap their passengers to make sure they see her.  Some smile slowly, their eyes brighten, and there they are... right where Lexi wants them... in the present moment... smiling with her.  Life is grand - why wouldn't you smile at it?

I've been playing Lexi's smile game the last few days - it's a glorious game, and we all win.  Won't you play too?


Paradise is Here, Paradise is Now.... Paradise is smiling at the world... and getting them to smile with you.

Our Final Walk with Destiny....

The Sweetest Thing, I've Ever Known is Loving You... 

June 15th, 2012

After being lulled to sleep by the loons, frogs and party animals across the river cranking Johnny Cash til 2am, MyHoney, Lexi, Derby and I set out on our adventure.  Loaded in the car with water bottles, trekking poles, and my back pack.. we set off to TownShip E - location of Angel Falls.  Out of tradition, I drove the long way in, down Bemis Track, and through the bumpy, washed out, and narrow dirt road.
Along the way, there were more yellow butterflies in the road than I have ever seen in my life.  If I had more presence of mind, I would have pulled over and taken a picture.  At first, it was like driving through a fairy land full of winged color and wonderment.  After a while, each time one slapped on the windshield or to the grill of my car, MyHoney and I would sigh and say "Awwwww...."  slap slap slap "awww ... awww!   AWWW!!!"

Then July 3rd, 2008 - Derby and Destiny hiking into Angel Falls

Now June 15th 2012 - Derby and Lexi hiking into Angel Falls

After a few dozen miles, my butterfly slathered car pulled up to the head of the trail, and we set off... and at the very first stream crossing, I knew we were in for a challenge.  The water was high. Very high.  MyHoney and I were both wearing hiking boots, and I pulled out the trekking poles.  He managed to hop-scotch across half-way, lost footing and soaked his feet.  After seeing his valiant effort go awry, I just sucked it up and waded across.  My feet were soaked, but I didn't care, I was doing this for the Queen of Ten Ass City.  Nothing stopped her that day, and nothing was going to stop me.

We could hear the river long before we reached it.  When we arrived, our dogs hesitated at the edge, looking at us for reassurance.  Derby felt the need to keep coming back to "help" us across by being in our way.  Lexi timidly walked each rock like an Olympian Balance Beam Gold Medalist and waited for us at each crossing.  By the time we reached the waterfall, MyHoney and I were soaked.  I was already physically and emotionally drained and ready to take a rest.  The last crossing served to be the trickiest, and my heart replayed the day that Destiny stood at the edge of the rushing water refusing to budge an inch.  I froze myself a few times wondering if I had the tenacity to cross.... and I could practically hear the strangers that day chanting "C'mon Destiny!"   If the Queen of Ten Ass City could do it.... so could I.... the weight of my backpack tested my balance, but the trekking poles helped me scurry across.

MyHoney, Derby & Lexi crossing the River to Angel Falls

Once we rounded the last bend, the jewel of the trek revealed itself... there she was in all her glory -Angel Falls.  Because of the heavy rains we had this spring, the falls were roaring and heavy - spraying mist and creating a glow of rainbows in the midst of lush green trees and mossy rocks.

PARADISE FOUND

I took off my pack and rested it on a rock, and MyHoney and I took off our soaked shoes and socks and I set about the task of unpacking our picnic lunch.   The dogs rested, then became restless (as they recover much quicker than we do) and began exploring their surroundings.  Unlike the last time we hiked in, we were the only people there, besides another couple who had hiked in with a black lab.

Then - Destiny resting on the rocks - Angel Falls

Now - Lexi Resting on the Rocks - Angel Falls

Lexi and Derby chilling out at Angel Falls

After we rested and thoroughly enjoyed our little piece of heaven on earth, we decided it was time.  I pulled the little pine box out of my backpack.  Holding it on my lap, I turned it over, expecting to see a latch to release its contents... and instead I saw four phillips screws.  Here we are, up a river without a screw driver.  Disappointment wasn't the word to use.  My eyes filled with tears and my heart tried to interpret what this meant.  It must be a sign.  Maybe Destiny isn't ready to leave me.  Maybe today isn't the day to do this.  But it had felt so right.  The weather was perfect.  I had never seen the falls so beautiful.  We were all together.  I can't open her box?  That's just like Destiny - stubborn to the end.

I reached for my keys and tried to force the screws out.. no luck.  Derby, who thought I was trying to break into a snack, nosed in to help.  I pushed away his face, and my hand hit his dog-tags... eureka!  I unfastened Derby's collar and worked his rabies tag into the top of the screw.  It was the right size and shape, but the tags soon cut into my thumb and fingers, and the work was hard.  MyHoney took over, and I couldn't stand to watch him labor over loosening the screws.  I kept saying "It's ok if we don't do this today".... I was losing my reign over the Ten Asses - I had to walk away.

Derby, and his dog tags -to the rescue <3

Deciding to capture at least our trek, I took some pictures of Destiny's paw print on the rocks.  Because I was still barefooted, I walked around gingerly with Lexi following close behind, curious as to what Momma was doing.  Greeted by the other couples black lab, I had a lightening bolt idea... and I scrambled over the roclks to the fellow hikers who were taking in the view of the falls. 

A Walk With Destiny

"HI, excuse me... do you have a pocket knife, or a leatherman?"  I stammered.  The guy, a very military looking fellow, who was obviously more woodsman saavy than I was, immediately said "No". (Duh, you do not hand sharp objects to strangers in the middle of the woods)  The woman, who was curious as to why a girl who was walking around clumsily and barefoot, taking pictures of a terra cotta paw print  would ask for a knife inquisitivly inquired, "What for?".....   My eyes filled and I stuttered "to... I want to... I was going to... spread the ashes of my d...d.... d... dog."   Both their faces softened.  They were dog people.  They got it. 

The guy stood up and walked over to MyHoney and with his strong military hands went to work trying to loosen and remove the four 2" phillips screws that encased Destiny's ashes.  While the two men were laboring on the task, we all talked about dogs, our love of dogs, our past dogs our present dogs, and how much dogs mean in our lives.  They got to share a moment with us.... and we got to share this moment with them - Dog People.  That's what Destiny always did -she brought people together.  She never wanted me to be alone.

Finally, Mr. Military exclaimed "HA HA! GOT IT!" and we all hovered over the little pine box.... he gingerly handed it to me, and my eyes welled.  I popped off the cover, to find a neatly wrapped baggie of finely crushed white sand.  It wan't at all what I expected.  I expected to see grey sooty ashes - like when you clean out a fireplace.  I didn't expect to see opalescent, what looked like beautiful crushed sea shells and snow white sand.... like what you would find On The Coast of Somewhere Beautiful...  

Mr. Military, Ms.Inquisitive and Black Lab retreated so we could have our moment, and once I composed myself, I found a rock to kneel on at the base of the waterfall.  Derby stood close by as we released a good portion of Destiny's ashes into the cascading waters.   I reserved the rest to scatter on top of Bald Mountain, At Steep Bank Pool, at my campsite, and will bring some home to the farm.  I have decided not to keep any in the little pine box... Destiny doesn't belong in a little box, her life is so much bigger than that.

Derby watches on as his friend Destiny runs free...

Destiny is now, and forever the Angel of Angel Falls

Me and MyHoney - Angel Falls

Paradise is Here, Paradise is Now - Paradise is on the Coast of Somewhere Beautiful....

A Walk With Destiny - Bald Mountain

View from Bald Mt Fire Tower

Destiny at Bald Mt - I carved our names on this years ago, couldn't find it now... thousands of signatures are on this table

A Walk With Destiny - Summit of Bald Mt

Destiny - Fire Tower, Bald Mt

Destiny, Top of Bald Mt

A Walk With Destiny -Steep Bank Pool, Kennebago River

Destiny, on the dock she would sit on watching me fly fish -Kennebago River

Our Adventures Live On....

Upta Camp....

No matter how many times I go to Rangeley, no matter how many times I take that trip up 17, with my car fully freighted and twisting through those mountain roads.... no matter how many hundred times I see this view... we always, always have to stop the car, take a picture and say "Hello Lake!"

I always take a moment and set an intention for my retreat into the mountains.  Sometimes it is to write.  Sometimes it is to challenge my self.  This weekend, my intention was to fulfill a promise to a dear, sweet friend. 


After taking in a few more lungfuls of sweet mountain air, we climbed back in the car, and headed to the campground to set up camp. 

The tradition of me going camping solo started when I was married, and my husband wanted to go to bike week in Lauden, NH on Fathers Day Weekend.  I went with him once, and decided it just wasn't for me.  Never being one to hold back my partner or deny him from doing things, I started to go camping in the wild, when he went off to be wild.

My friends thought I was a little crazy - camping by yourself? Really?  But I wasn't technically alone.  I go to a very safe family campground where everyone knows me... and when I did venture off on my little adventures of hiking and fishing... I had my White Shadow - my Protector - My Destiny.

Now, I am not a very athletic person, nor am I a very adventurous person.... that's what made these retreats fun.  It was an opportunity to quietly challenge myself.  To build fires in the rain, to seek resources and be creative when I forgot to pack an essential like tent stakes or a sleeping bag, and a time to sit in my tent with my headlight beaming on a wilderness map tracing out new trails to hike and challenges for us to take... just me and my girl. 

As much as we liked finding new adventures, we had our old standbys - stomping grounds that we had to go to each and every year - out of tradition, out of sentimental love of the place, and out of familiarity.  Bald Mountain, Angel Falls, Kenebago River, Steep Bank Pool, and Upper Dam were just a few of our favorites.  I'd pack a lunch, heft my pack on my back, and we'd venture out.  Destiny and I spent hours sitting with our feet (paws) in the streams... casting a line, smelling the pine... and watching the world float by in the clouds.  Problems didn't exist for me there.  They were all back home, in an office, in piles of paperwork a million miles away....


I survived my adult-hood by scheduling frequent retreats away from the world.  Destiny was often my only invited guest.


My days of solo camping are not over.  MyHoney has a crazy busy schedule, and being a high-in-demand wedding DJ, a weekend off in June is a rare treat.  To be able to share this weekend with him, is a gift.

I lit the fire, and MyHoney busied the dogs.  We cooked dinner, and the sun set on the day.  Tomorrow we will hike into Angel Falls...



Paradise is Here, Paradise is Now... Paradise is being able to share your Paradise with the one you love... 

Reassurance...

Fathers Day Weekend, 2012

We awoke early to finish packing so we could get on the road.  I was finishing packing up the coolers, as MyHoney was dutifully staying clear by busying himself on the computer.  I have been going to camp all my life, and have done this trip solo most of my adult life.  As much as I love "help", sometimes "helping me pack" is actually staying the hell out of my way, and MyHoney does that soooo very well.

As I am putting the finishing touches on packing the kitchen items, MyHoney asks me if he can start carrying things down to the car.  Absolutely.  He reached for my back pack, and I explained I wanted to pack that one last.  He obediently grabbed everything else, and walked down to the car.  My heart felt heavy and I questioned myself again... "Am I really ready to let her go?"... and walked over to the entertainment center.. picked up the little pine box and paw print.  Soon, my tears splashed on the top, scattering the dust that had collected.  I stood there for a long time contemplating putting it back, when I felt someone was watching me.  Turning, expecting it to be MyHoney, I realized I was alone in the room... with just Lexi.  Her brown eyes were fixated on me... flickering and waiting for me to notice her.  I set my eyes on hers, and her face turned from anticipation to wonderment.  "Are you ok?" she asked.  "Momma... are you ok?"

Her face expressed deep concern.  Her little body sat perfectly still, her front paws tapped anxiously at the carpet softly.  I realized my little puppy clown, was actually reassuring me.  I wiped my eyes and smiled at her.... her eyes sparkled back... "OH good! You are ok!"  she flashed her smile and softly beat her tail on the carpet... Wag-wag.  Wag-wag.  She continued to look at me, accessing my emotions and well being.  Even after hearing the screen door slap indicating that MyHoney was coming up the stairs.  Finally, breaking her stare, she walked over and leaned against my leg.

I slipped the little pine box and paw print in my back pack.   C'mon Lexi  - Load Up, Little Pup! We're going to Camp!  A few spins, tail chases and zoomies later... we were loaded up and on our way.

Paradise is Here, Paradise is Now.... Paradise is reassurance from a friend.

Return to Paradise

June 13th, 2012

A little over three years have gone by, and sitting on my entertainment center shelf is a little pine box with a terra cotta paw print on top.  Surrounding the box is pictures of Destiny - snap shots in time when we had adventures together.  I can see the make-shift shrine as I sit on my couch, watching TV.  Curled up beside me is my little White Sprite - Lexi.

MyHoney and I have plans to go to Rangeley the weekend of Fathers Day weekend.  Flipping channels, I catch the weather report - the weekend is supposed to be spectacular.  Clear, sunny days.... starlit nights.  Perfect for camping.  I stood up, stretched, and decided I better get packing.  MyHoney will be by tomorrow night, and we will be off Thursday morning.  Once again, my eyes went to the little pine box... there will never be a more perfect weekend to fulfill a promise.  I struggled with the idea of slipping the box and terracotta paw print into my backpack.

Last summer, when I was going through a terrible time - depression, sickness, financial problems - I had sat with that paw print and little pine box, rocking back and forth on the floor, weeping like a child.  I longed for the reassurance Destiny used to give me.  I wanted to bury my face into her soft white fur and feel her resolve that I was going to be ok.  Instead, White Sprite curled up in my lap and licked tears off my face.... and I giggled at her antics and levity.  Lexi is my comic relief ... "little white clown with a pink nose... how did your nose get so pink?" I sang to her as I wiped my eyes..  My singing sent her into a fit of joy and tail chasing, and ... well, who can cry when a fuzzy clown is fervently trying to catch her tail?

My gaze shifted from the little pine box to Lexi, who was staring at me expectantly, knowing something exciting was happening.  C'mon little pup - let's get packing!  

MyHoney arrived that evening and we started packing up the car.  "So, what are the plans for the weekend?"... I stopped chopping veggies, looked up and paused.... "I think we should hike into Angel Falls...."

"I love that idea"  ... I didn't have to explain to MyHoney what I wanted to do .. he knew.  It was time to return the Queen to her Paradise...

Paradise is Here, Paradise is Now..... Paradise is going Home... 

My Promise to the Queen of Ten Ass City....

Thank you to the amazing staff at Portland Veterinary Specialists

January 16th, 2009 at 11:05am ... I sat on a cold tile floor, stroking the soft downy fur of my best friend, my soul mate, my White Shadow... I talked to her through choked back tears and sang her songs, silly ones with made up words... ones when she was a vivacious playful pup would send her into fits of joy and tail chasing. That day, my tears splashed like rain down on her face, and she looked at me with the trust and love that only very blessed people on this earth get to have - the unending adoration of a loyal dog.  Even as she laid there with an IV in her leg, no longer able to move because of the sedatives and pain killers the clinic mercifully injected her with... her eyes flickered with concern for me.  "I'll be alright Momma"... I knew if she was able to.. she would have flopped her tail up and down... wag-wag. Wag-wag...to reassure me. She was always reassuring me ... that is what she did. 

Dr. Noble, sitting on the floor with us, asked me if I was ready.  No. I'll never be ready... But looking down at my sweet girl... seeing her eyes dull, her smile gone, her tail motionless.... She was already gone.  I had to let her go - I was her best friend after all - I had to unlatch her leash one last time, and let her run free.  I nodded to Dr. Noble, and she gently rolled back the release on the drip line, and pushed a clear fluid through the IV.   I said good bye to my Destiny... She never broke her loving gaze at me as she slipped away... my hand felt the last rise and fall of her chest... my eyes were the last eyes she looked into - my words were the last ones she heard... and I made her a promise... Our adventures would live on.  I promise.

After a long time... Dr. Noble and MyHoney helped me up... and I left Destiny resting in eternal slumber, on the soft dog bed on the clinics floor. No more needles. No more medicine.  No more IV's. No more pain.  I walked out of the clinic with her empty collar in my hand.  No white shadow.  No "load up little Pup!" as we approached my truck.  No singing along to the radio inserting her name in the songs and glancing in the rear view to see her smiling in amusement of hearing her name.  Just... nothing.  My Destiny was gone.  She wasn't there to reassure me any more. 

Two weeks later, we returned to the clinic to pick up Destiny.  Julie, a caring girl with soft hands and a gentle touch, who Destiny just adored stepped out of the reception area, and guided me to the private wait room. The girl who had once upon a time admitted Destiny into care, fed her treats, and hugged her fiercely on her last visit, gently handed me a little green gift bag. Her eyes were red rimmed and full of tears.  Inside was a small wooden box and a terra cotta paw print - Destiny's paw print, and a sympathy card signed by Dr. Noble, Julie, and the rest of the staff from the clinic who had administered Destiny's care for the last nine months of her life.   MyHoney wrapped his arm around my shoulder and assisted me back to my truck, where Destiny rode for the first time, in my lap, in the front seat.  I couldn't speak.  All I could think of was.. my 60 pound (who had wasted away to 30 pounds) dog was in this teeny tiny box?  My beautiful, spirited, adventurous dog doesn't belong in such a tiny box. She, after all, was the Queen of Ten Ass City.  Her life was so much larger than this teeny, tiny, little pine box.  But there she was... just the same.

Silently, on the way home, I replayed my last words to her - "Our Adventures will live on..." and decided she will return to the mountains and dance amongst the lupines.  She should be where butterflies flutter and flit on the breeze and land on daisy blossoms that bend and sway.  She deserves to be where the air is so permeated with the scent of sweet pine its intoxicating.  She belongs where the loons will sing her lullabies every night. I will take you back to where we were the happiest together - I promise. I promise.

Paradise is Here, Paradise is Now.....    Even if you don't realize it yet.

Leap of Faith ....

photo credit: me.explorer

We must walk consciously only part way toward our goal, and then leap in the dark to our success. ~ Henry David Thoreau

"JUMP! JUMP! JUMP! JUMP!" 

I was 14 years old, and all my friends were daring me to do it.  My mother had warned me about this day... "If all your friends jumped off a bridge, would you do it too?!"  I would roll my eyes at the absurdity of her suggestion.  How dumb does she think I am?  How dumb does she think my friends are?  But lo and behold, there I was, knees shaking, heart pounding ... looking down at all my friends who had already taken the plunge... standing on the edge of Frye's Leap on Sebago Lake.

"C'mon Priscilla! JUMP!!!"

It's now or never.  If I don't jump now, while I have all the moxie in the world... I'll never do it... and I will regret it the rest of my life. Not only that... but there really isn't another way down.  I backed up a few feet, started to run... and at the last minute changed my mind.  The problem is, in real life, jumping off a cliff doesn't lend you any last minutes to change your mind.  This is not a cartoon where you get to hang in mid air and scramble back to the edge and contemplate your decisions.  Nope.... I was hurdling off the cliff - screaming - flailing - waving my arms and legs frantically (despite being instructed by my friends to go jump straight with my feet so I would "knife" into the water).... and before I could cry "Geronimo!" ... I smacked the water with the force of a bug hitting a windshield.... water gushed into my open mouth (because I was still screaming) and soon I couldn't tell up from down.  Holy shit - this is what my mother was trying to warn me about - my friends are morons.  Sinking to the bottom of the lake, and still flailing my arms and legs hoping to move in any direction but down,  suddenly I felt the grip of my friends hands on my shoulders and he launched me to the surface.  Gasping and realizing I was seeing the light of day, and I was not dead... I looked up at the cliff and thought (briefly) - "Wow, that isn't really that high...what was I so afraid of?"  Would I do it again?  Oh hell NO.

But I'm glad I did it - even if it wasn't by complete preconceived notion.  It taught me two things - 1) if I should happen to jump off anything... my friends are always there to catch me.  and 2) I have the moxie to make the leap. 

Sometimes we get shoved off cliffs.... much like when my marriage abruptly ended and I had to move out on my own for the first time in my life, much like when I was let go from my job due to corporate downsizing, and much like the time I started my coaching business.  I was shoved out of the nest - it was fly or die.  Luckily, I was able to spread my wings each time, and I had friends to catch me during bumpy landings. 

As I eluded to in my previous post, I am gearing up to launch some amazing things in my life and my business.  I have been slowly climbing, building, and creating.  And, now, here I stand once again on the side of the cliff - all my friends, family, colleagues, and clients are yelling "JUMP JUMP JUMP!!" and I am gathering up all the moxie I got... GERONIMO!



Paradise is Here, Paradise is Now... Paradise is Taking That Leap ....

I'd love to hear about your leaps of faith... please feel free to share your Paradise!

Shut UP and Listen!

Listen to what you know instead of what you fear.  ~ Richard Bach

I am an excellent listener.  I have been trained to listen to people on a very deep level, and in a very meaningful way.  I practice daily listening to people by validating the speaker, understanding their message, and clarifying the meaning.  Not to brag, but I am often deemed as "intuitive" because I take the time and care to really hear what the speaker is saying.  Partly through training, mostly through practice, but I really pride myself on my listening skills.


Except when it comes to listening to one person.  Me.

Unfortunately, instead of listening to my Inner Wisdom - my Source... I usually end up listening to Cecilia instead. I end up listening to her berate me, contemplate when she asks me "who do you think you are?" and I believe her when she tells me I can't possibly amount to anything because I'm either lacking in resources, money or the brains department. Eventually, the truth my Source tells me -that I'm smart, I have resources, I have potential.... those truths go unheard.


This past week, I had a BIG decision to make - one that was important, and could effect my livelihood.  Because it was such a weighty decision, Cecilia piped up loud and clear in her very opinionated way.  You don't have enough money.  You don't have enough time.  You don't have enough resources.  You aren't right for this.... once again, Cecilia realized that I was setting myself up to take a risk, and she was in full blown panic mode.  Don't take risks, stay here, on the couch and eat ice cream where you are safe and won't make an ass out of yourself... she chided.   But Cecilia was wrong.  I knew it.  I just couldn't hear any voices of reason over her relentless chatter.  


What the Universe does next is a classic parental trick.  You know the one... your mother knows that you aren't going to listen to HER, so she convinces everyone around you to talk to you instead?  "Why don't you  talk to your sister?"... or "Your her best friend, could you talk to her?" Ya.... that old trick.


Later that day, I stared at the blank application for membership, hemming and hawing on how to fill it out.  It wasn't a matter if I SHOULD fill it out, it was HOW I wanted to fill it out.  I had to make a decision on what role I wanted to take, and that as a result would determine how I was going to shape my marketing and target audience for my business from here on out.  Fiercely procrastinating, I decided to return a phone calls to a colleague - randomly - yet SO purposeful. After sharing what we were up to with each other, I shared with her my intent to join a networking group.  I also shared with her I was going to apply as "personal coach".... and remarkably - she picked up on the fact I was having an inner struggle.  "Are you sure that's what you want to do?"  She wasn't talking to Cecilia... she was talking to ME.  And, because I am a great listener, I heard her. "No, I'm not sure..." I sheepishly admitted.  Because she is also an amazing listener, and she is an incredibly insightful coach,  she helped me hear my Source, silence Cecilia, remember my purpose and passion - connect them to my goals and values, and to trust my instincts. By the time I hung up the phone I knew what I had to do.....   I literally said out loud "OK UNIVERSE - I HEAR YOU LOUD AND CLEAR!"

Without any further delay, I filled out the application for membership and clearly defined my goals and intention and in the "description of services" I wrote "Business Coach."  Because that is my purpose, my passion and my destiny.  I know, because my Source just knocked me over the head.  I wrote the check, and hand delivered it to the Secretary Treasurer.  As I pulled out of her driveway and headed back to my office, the song "Pretty Please" by Pink blared on the radio......

Pretty, pretty please, don't you ever, ever feel
Like you're ever less than perfect
Pretty, pretty please, if you ever, ever feel
Like you're nothing, you're perfect to me

You're so mean when you talk
About yourself. You were wrong.
Change the voices in your head
Make them like you instead.

Pretty, pretty please, don't you ever, ever feel
Like you're less than perfect

Pretty, pretty please, if you ever, ever feel
Like you're nothing, you're perfect to me!

I sang so loud - I think the entire world could hear me.... I know I did... 

Paradise is Here, Paradise is Now .... Paradise is Listening to Your Source...