Lessons Learned .... How I became a Master of My Finances

Guru (Teacher)

"Class is in Session!"... and as if I was actually sitting in University, I sat up a little taller and held my pen to my notebook, ready to take in all and any information Suze Orman was willing to give me through the television screen.  As she flashed her white teeth and her perfect smile, she began with telling her class "After a few years of being a stockbroker, in 1987 I opened up my own firm and had another major setback where one of my employees ripped off all my money. It closed me down for a year or two and I ended up $250,000 in debt. That situation turned out to be the greatest thing that ever happened to me because that's where I learned to stand in my truth. That's where I learned that the truth will always lead you to a better place and a bigger place." 

Her words rang truer than true, no better lesson has ever been taught... and I can only tell you I am in a MUCH better place than I was a short year ago.....

Last year, I decided to get my Masters.  No, I am not going to school for anything... I decided to become a Master of My Finances.   (a MMF if you will)  It was not a light decision, or even one that presented itself with any real choice.  I HAD to get a grip on my finances.  I HAD to do something.  I HAD to start kick kick kicking... or I was going to drown in my sea of debt.

I've never had a problem with debt before.  I always made really good money, and I always lived within my means.. or so I thought.  When I look back on my spending in my 20's and 30's I could have done more to sock money away.  I could have spent less, invested more, and had a nest egg... but instead I bought new cars, had nice things, and lived the American Dream.  Because I managed to stay afloat, I figured I was ok - it was all manageable, and it was manageable... until I got divorced, moved out on my own, bought a truck I couldn't afford, administered expensive medical treatments to a terminally ill dog, and to kick me when I was down, lost my job ... and then the Debt Monsters began to lurk....

My first instinct was "If I close my eyes... they can't see me"... and I hid under the covers from the Monsters.  But they did see me.  They called me, they knocked on my door, they sent me harassing letters, they denied me credit, they devastated my credit score, and they made me a laughable joke to any financial institution that I asked for a loan...  oh, the monsters saw me alright.  They took my new truck, they took me to court, they made my life a living hell.  I became afraid of my mailbox and my telephone.  My confidence in myself was waning... I felt like a failure.  I was living the American Nightmare.

For the first time in my adult life, I had to turn to the bank of Mom & Dad to help me.  Humiliation cut like a knife.  I had no real plan on how I was going to pay them back, let alone Destiny's Care Credit Card, Toyota, or any of the other bills that were swamping me.  I had no idea what to do... where to start, or how to right the ship.... all I knew was I had to do something.. I am a grown woman who has been acting like a child.  I had to take the covers off my head and look the Monsters in the eye..  I turned to Suze Ormans books, Dave Ramsey's blog and website, and started to absorb everything I could about money management and budgeting.  I Googled "Get out of Debt" daily, and read countless articles. 

"The Universe provides to those who seek and are willing to do the work..."

Then one day.... in walks Cindy Parran Brochu, Financial Coach.  Fate is a funny thing... we met through a mutual acquaintance, and we decided to have coffee.  After one hour of talking with her, I knew that the Universe sent me my Guru ... my teacher.  Her Financial Fitness course was just what I needed to attain my MMF... (Master of My Finances) degree. 

Cindy helped by doing what I was too overwhelmed to do... she poured over my finances.  She made me accountable to track my expenses, my expenditures (yes, those trips to Dunkin Donuts add up!) and then once that was complete, she helped me create a spending plan.  Her advise was clear and simple - she advised me to talk to my part time employers to see if they could give me more hours until I could get my coaching business afloat.  She advised me to look at my insurance policies and get new quotes, and to go to my cell phone provider and get a more affordable plan.  And she advised me to take the covers off my head and look at my Monsters... that's right, I needed to talk to them.  She advised me to track my money, and start treating my money with respect. The formula ended up being simple: Make more, Save More, Spend Less. 

While Cindy gave me the tools and the know how - she did not do the work for me.... that was all up to me.   I have to thank my good friend Aileen's blog Kaizen Vision where she suggested to use Mint.com ... it is a FREE personal finance tracking tool that actually makes budgeting fun and easy.  Best of all, you can get an app for your phone so you will always have your budget tracker with you.  This was the first major step to getting my MMF.

The part that scared me the most about Cindy's advice was looking and talking to the Monsters.  They were intimidating and scary.  They were demanding, bossy and made me feel badly about myself.  I am a good person! I am in debt because I was saving my love of my life, my Destiny... what is the matter with you people? Why do you have to be so mean?!!  So I got Pre-Paid Legal (Legal Shield).... and they talked to my Monsters for me.  They sent my Monsters letters, and they told my Monsters to behave and they will get their money.  They even told one Monster to get lost, because they didn't have a leg to stand on.   Bye Bye Monster... Buh Bye. 

MAKE MORE ... 

I followed Cindy's advice, and was given more hours at my job.  I was lucky, I know... but I do trust that my hard work and knowledge paid off, and my employers appreciate me.   I also decided to raise my coaching rates - I have three years experience as a coach, I am certified, and I have worked with many clients who have become very successful.  I felt good about the raise, and it certainly helped in the "Make More" category.  I was afraid I would lose clients or turn people off by asking for more money, but it actually had an opposite effect.  I believe my clients saw the value in what I offered and were willing to pay more.

When you value yourself, other people see the value in you...

I also started looking for ways I could make more money - I sold some flys that I tied, I sold some books on Amazon, and did some odd jobs for extra cash.

SAVE MORE ...

Second, I tackled my debts.... one by one, I entered them into a snowball spreadsheet (hint... Google "snowball debt spreadsheet" and you will find one to use for free).

Next, I went to my Credit Union, and set up two savings accounts - one for my "snowball" and one for "shit happens."  I calculated my exact expenses, and set up my direct deposit to cover that in my checking account.  Any thing that was left over went into "snowball" and "shit happens" respectively.  In a few months time, I had enough money to pay off Toyota, and have a nice comfortable cushion should any other monsters come lurking.  I see you Monster... I got my eye on you...

SPEND LESS ...

Because of Mint.com, I suddenly realized that I was spending on average $25.00 a month at Dunkin Donuts.  That's $300.00 a year.... and I don't even LIKE their coffee!!! (I'm a Tim Hortins girl)  I made a budget to spend just $10.00 a month at "coffee shops", and set budgets for everything from "Fast Food" to "Gas"... I started making a game with myself to stay under budget, and when I did, I put that savings against my Snowball.  Take THAT you stupid Monster!

I also took Cindy's advice and got new quotes on my car and motorcycle insurance.  Thanks to my friend Chris Signore of Garnsey Insurance, I saved $150.00 a year on insurance AND got rental insurance.... a big stick against those "shit happens" monsters.  Die Monsters! Die!!!

Finally, I changed cell phone providers and went on MyHoney's family plan - saving me $100.00 a month!  In Yo Face Monstah!! Who's your Master?! OH YA.

Now that I feel like the debt monsters are at bay, I am ready to tackle the credit report monsters.  Through the advice of my friend Tracy, I went to my credit union and flat out said "I am here to repair my credit, what can you do for me?"  They suggested a secured loan.  Essentially, I put money in an account, and borrowed the same amount of money against the savings account.  I took the money I borrowed, and put it into the same account.  I then set up automatic payments allowing the credit union to automatically draw the payments from that account.  So, for the amount of 3.55% interest, and in the course of a year or so, I will have "good credit" reporting to the agencies.   Down Bad Credit Monster! Down!!

Now that I am a MMF, doors are opening up for me in ways I never expected.  I am able to relax more, work with better suited clients, grow my business and be a better employee, daughter, girlfriend, friend, sister and tenant.   I am no longer burdening my relationships with the conversations of lack, fright, or desperation.  My friends and family no longer feel guilty that they can't help me.  Because of my budgeting prowess I can actually pick up the tab once in a while when MyHoney and I go out to eat.   I hold my head up higher and feel more confident about myself.  Call me the Debt Monster Whisperer....

I always wanted to be "Financially Independent".. but "Independence" doesn't mean going about it alone - it's about aligning yourself with good Guru's .. people who are strong in areas in which you are weak.  Be a good student... listen to their advice, and be willing to take action.  Get your head out from underneath the covers - look at the monsters... they are not as scary as you think.  Sit, Monster Sit.  Good boy. (arf!)

Photo credit - "Where the Wild Things Are"

Paradise is here, Paradise is now... Paradise is Abundant ...

 

 

Palabra (Word) ~ Reinvison - Clarity

After watching the State of the Union address Tuesday night, I have been inspired to complete a writing challenge I found last month.  Ya, it's supposed to be done in December, and ya, it's a daily writing challenge that I may or may not keep up with daily... but the result is the same - to sum up the State of Cilly, to reflect on a year of change and challenges, and to move forward towards success and prosperity.  Thanks to my "constituents" for all the support you have given me.


Palabra (Word)
Encapsulate your 2011 in one word. Why that word? What would you like your word to be for 2012? Why?

Ugh... 2011.  To encapsulate 2011 in one word, I guess it would have to be Re-envision.  See, at the beginning of 2011, I had a much different vision then I had at the end of 2011.   In the beginning of 2011, I was struggling financially.  I was trying to get my coaching business off the ground, while trying to make ends meet .... and what little money I had in reserves was running out.   The thought of not being able to pay my rent, put food on the table, or keep my car running was weighing heavily on every business decision I made.  The biggest lesson I learned from 2011 was the impact that fear based decisions can make.  



Decisions made from fear remind me of getting an eye exam.  As the doctor has you look through the cyborg like goggles at the eye chart, he gives you choices on which lens is clearer ... "One? or Two?"  Hmmm... both choices seem  good... noting my hesitation he flips back to the first slide "One?"  flip flip "or Two?"  ... feeling embarrassed that I can't make up my mind, and not able to decide if the character on the third line, second to the bottom is indeed a backwards E (do they really do that?) or a 3, I say "One... I think"...  The result can be a bad prescription that causes stress and strain.

Remove the fear - in this case the fear of feeling embarrassed of not being able to see the chart, I make better decisions.  I choose carefully... and the next decision is clearer "One or Two?"  Two.  "One?"  flip flip "or Two?"  One.  Definitely one.  Suddenly, the character on the third line, second to the bottom clearly becomes a 3.  See.. I knew they wouldn't trick me with a backwards E!


In the beginning of 2011, I made decisions out of fear and my life became fuzzy and unfocused, and it caused stress and strain.   I could no longer see my goals.  My vision became fuzzy.  Everything became blurry.  I lost sight of where I was going.  It was actually a very dark and scary time.



It took alot of soul searching to start shedding some light on my situation.  I started to realize that I had made fear-based decisions.  I recognized the impact fear made on my choices.  And, as Oprah says "Once I knew better, I did better."  I sat down and got brutally honest with myself.  I looked hard at my life, my business plan, my goals, my future and my finances.  I stopped creating stories in my mind about financial failure and being destitute and helpless.  I suddenly realized the only reason I felt helpless is because I hadn't asked for help.  I found that when I faced my truth, I faced my fears, and when I faced my fears, they faded away.  I started to dial in - (flip, flip... one, or two?) and made decisions based on truth.... and suddenly, things became crystal clear.

So, that was 2011.. and now on to 2012... what word would I choose to encapsulate 2012?  Clarity ...  
 I am taking off the blinders of fear, taking my new prescription of truth, and viewing my life through new lenses.... and my future looks pretty damn good.

Grief... Interrupted....

My sweet girl Destiny.  This week I finally fulfilled my last earthly obligation to you... the financial matters of your medical bills.  It took every resource I had left, and many sleepless nights, but this past Monday I sent via priority mail payment in full.  "Destiny's Credit Card" is finally laid to rest.


And I have wept every day since as if it is the day I lost you.

Most people would be elated to pay off a bill.  It would be such a relief to have the burden and the anxiety finally lifted off their shoulders.  Celebration would be in order.  For me, it's left a new sense of loss that is as fresh as the day I said goodbye.  You see, my friend... I no longer have to take care of you.  You ran free on January 16th, 2009.  I finally got set free this week... and its an odd feeling that I just don't know what to do with.  No more fretting... no more worrying... the treatments we started back in the spring of 2008 are finally ... finally finished.  I am no longer responsible - for you.

In a way, I am grateful that I had the distraction of financial upset right after losing you.   Losing my job four days after saying goodbye to you wasn't easy... but it gave me something to focus on.  All my energy went into staying afloat - I had to press on.  Now that urgency is gone, and my mind seems to want to time travel back and mourn you all over again.  My grief was interrupted...


So, sweet girl, while my earthly obligation is done, rest assured I still haven't forgotten my promise to you of living out our adventures.  Now that all the fretting and worrying has been laid to rest, I want to focus on new projects.  My vision is to pay this experience forward, help other Dog-mas who are in need, who face either saying goodbye to their loyal companions or costly medical bills and are forced to choose.  I don't know what steps I need to take to get there, but I know you will be guiding me on the trail.

Run Free...

Be careful what you wish for....

I've been watching alot of Oprah lately... I especially have been enjoying Oprah's Life Class and Soul Sundays. Bravo Oprah for putting something on TV that actually enriches our lives and adds to our character.

Anyway, Oprah was interviewing Tom Shadyac, director of the I AM documentary, and they were talking about cause and effect. What struck me was Oprah's comment about how she used to write down a list of things she "wanted' every year... and she doesn't do that anymore. She joked "One year, I asked for more courage.. so what did the Universe do? It sent me more situations to test my courageousness... so I don't ask for courage anymore!

I literally laughed out loud and tears came to my eyes when she said that... because I have done the same thing. Every year I would take a sabbatical on my birthday, go out into the middle of the woods some where with a leather bound journal and jot down everything I wanted to accomplish. I had a list of things I wanted by the time I was 30, 35, 40... and with each passing year, I look back and see a list of struggles, with a few speckles of success spackled in.

I wanted to be a master of my finances... the Universe has sent me financial disasters to master. I had thousands of dollars of debt from Destiny's medical bills... I lost my job, I struggled to build a business in a weak economy. What better way to become a master than to be thrown into the fire?

I wanted to be healthy, fit, and vibrant... I had excruciating headaches, nausea, vertigo. I learned what it was like to not have my health. I wished for a day where I could work a full day, have the strength to wash my dishes.. to do simple things. I learned to value my health in a way I had taken for granted before.

I wanted to have strong relationships... The Universe has tested my relationships in order to make them stronger - some relationships crumbled completely. At the time, I questioned God - "Why... why on earth is it when I strive for something the most, it seems further and further away from my grasp?"

Cause and effect my friend. What ever you put out... comes back to you. Be careful what you wish for.