Overture, Curtain, Lights...

Paradise is taking the stage...

Cautiously optimistic, I shuffled in with the rest of the crowd, and found an empty seat.  In front of me was a stage, adorned with a banner above, a linen covered table with a vase of pink roses, and a pitcher of water and a glass for the speaker.  Behind me was a DJ/AV guy providing lighting, upbeat music, and the right pitch of hype that was needed for such a production.  My cautiousness faded to curiosity, wondering what was in store for me and the other 39 people whose eyes were also focused on the stage.

In bounds a young man, he hops up on stage and addresses us enthusiastically - the crowd responds in agreement.  We rise to our feet and begin applauding... and then from stage right she enters ... star struck and in awe, I realize she is exactly where I am meant to be.... and I will do anything to be there.  She took the stage, stopped, breathed, and acknowledged each of us sitting in her presence with a warm smile, a nod, and eye contact with her piercing blue eyes that sparkled with the expertly lit stage lighting.  I was immediately drawn in, and any hesitation I felt about this weekend vanished in the lime light.  The beautiful part of this moment was she was UP on that stage for one purpose - to teach me to take my own stage.  She was going to teach me how to be just as dazzling, just as mesmerizing, and just as magnetizing as she was... I was riveted to the edge of my seat.  She opened with asking us if we wanted to fill our workshops and make more money - we enthusiastically shouted "YES!!"  ... She then brought us through her turning point story - a story of highs, lows, humbling lessons and an amazingly successful outcome.  We applauded wildly.  We high-fived each other and celebrated.  From her story, I could see hope and possibilities for me.  It was exciting! 

Callan Rush, Co-founder, Leader to Luminary
www.leadertoluminary.com

For the next three days I study her every move as she leads us through the ins and outs of educational marketing.  I am enthralled with not only what she is teaching me from her lesson plan, but what she is teaching me by example.  She has a nutritionist bringing her green drinks, fruit, nuts and cheese, and most importantly, water - Fuji seemed to be her favored brand.  The DJ/AV and the warm-up announcer got us in a frothy frenzy before she entered the room after each break.  Her assistants made sure she had every thing she needed including papers, notes, markers, props - so her attention was exactly where it was supposed to be - on us - her audience.  As a result, our attention was exactly where it was supposed to be - on her, our leader.  Something told me this wasn't her first time at the rodeo. 


For three days I fantasized being on my own stage, leading an audience through transformations, creating an atmosphere, creating a buzz.  On the plane ride home, as I drifted off in a exhausted post-event slumber, my head remained in the clouds as I dreamed of being announced, taking the stage, and transforming lives.

After a few days home ... the spotlights dimmed and the stage became a distant memory.  Work had to be done, and I had no entourage at my beck and call.  Reality set in.  Off to coach my next client, write my next blog, file my taxes, and do my paperwork.  It's all in a days work, and I have no stage hands bringing me lattes. 

All the world's a stage
And all the men and women merely players
They have their exits and their entrances,
And one man in his time plays many parts - Shakespeare

Sitting face to face with my client Tim*, I listened intently as he excitedly shared a break through with me.  I was riveted to the edge of my seat.  He took me through the challenges he had, the process it took to get to transformation, the "Ah-HA!" moment he experienced, and the amazing successful, life changing experience he had as a result.  He humbly said "If not for our conversation last week, I never would have thought of it that way -this changed my LIFE"  I jumped up and exclaimed "YES!!!"  - we both celebrated with high fives and "atta-boy's"... we basked in the moment and I had Tim* take a bow.  I applauded wildly... I finished the session with Tim, and sent him on his way with a list of the next things he would take on and tackle for the week - because nothing from this day forward would hold him back.

I sat back down in my chair, brought my laptop to my knees to finish his coaching summary notes reflecting on the amazing performance I just witnessed ... and the curtain drew.   No entourage waited in the wings... no DJ/AV guy played upbeat music.... none was needed - because that moment was enough.  It is that moment that I live for - it is my all star performance, the one that receives rave reviews and burns in the memory of the audience.

 Overture, Curtain, Lights... this is it, let's hit the heights, and OH what heights we'll hit!!


Paradise is Here, Paradise is Now ... Paradise is hitting the heights...

Clearing the Trail ...

Today we are getting wet, heavy, tree-bending snow. Sipping my coffee and watching the pines bend while the woods dress their naked limbs in drapes of white velvet, I thought back to years ago, when I would wake up and this type of snow meant one thing - snowmobiling season.

Excitedly, we would rush through breakfast, suit up in our long-johns, boots, scarfs and snowmobile suits. Adventures of flying through the fields and to destinations occupied my mind.  I couldn't wait to rev up my machine and ZOOM ZOOM!  Racing outside I stop dead in my tracks when I see my Dad trudging from the garage with a gas can, axe, chainsaw and shovels in hand. He loaded them up in the dogsled he already had hitched to his snowmobile. I groaned. I knew today would not be the day for fast-paced trail adventures. Today, we had to clear the trail.

Once we were packed up, we zoomed across the fields, white powder floated up behind us,  and swirled around us in a frosty frenzy. My brother and I raced each other for pole position - but that is where our need for speed ended as we crept to the edge of the field and entered the deep canopy of the woods. Then the work commenced. The trees bowed down like a maze of marshmallow covered tunnels. I often got confused as to where we were, grateful my Dad was there - he knew this trail like the back of his hand, despite the feeling of having stepped through a wardrobe into a foreign snow encrusted Narnia. Downed tree after downed tree, we would work, clearing the way. Saws buzzing and echoing into the valley, I felt like we might as well be out in the Alaskan Tundra.  Mile after tedious mile, we cleared our section of the trail, and eventually run into another group of snowmobilers who had cleared the trails from their houses. Seeing the other group coming in our direction made my heart skip. We had made it! The work is done! Exhausted, we headed back home in the moonlight.

My friends would tease me - why work so hard to play? I knew that once we had worked hard to clear the trail, we reaped the rewards of a fun filled winter. Once the trail was clear, the real fun begins. It made all the hard work and labor worth while. Not only were we able to get out from the farm, but now our friends were able to get to us. Our fields buzzed with friends and neighbors meeting up, racing the fields, building bonfires to warm our hands, and enjoy the sparkling winter sun. Snow-shoers flopped by with their dogs, and cross country skiers skated by on our smooth, freshly dragged trails. The day or two of breaking through the trails with chainsaws and axes were a long distant memory.  The fun was so infectious, that sure enough, the next time we had a tree-bending snow, I would forget all about the fact we had to clear the trails all over again.  I did notice, the more frequently we got heavy snow, the less we had to clear the trail the next time.

Had we decided to skip the work to get to the prize of riding the trails, we would have gotten snarled and caught up along the way. Our snowmobiles would have gotten stuck and damaged, or worse, riders could have been injured.   An inexperienced rider would surely have gotten lost trying to distinguish where the trail began and where it ended had we not cleared the way.

As the fat, fluffy flakes lazily plop onto the tree branches outside my window, I think about all the trails in my life I need to clear.  Right now, looking at my goals is like looking at them through the gnarled up, twisted branches weighed down by tree-bending snow.  I sometimes feel lost in the white out, disoriented as to where I am, and not sure I can find my way.   The terrain looks foreign to me.  

I think about the dog-sled full of tools I have - experience, knowledge, intuition, wit, charisma .. amongst others.  I think about the trail-masters I have in my life -the people who have been on the trail before, who know how to navigate it - whether its smooth sailing, or blocked with twisted obstacles and challenges.  People who can show me how to use my tools and resources to cut down the obstacles, and how to mark the trail so others can join me.  I think about how amazing it feels once the work is done, and how that hard work resulted in fun, enjoyment and community.   I start to get excited to roll up my sleeves and get to work clearing, because clearing is the first step towards the reward.

Tell me, what trails do you need to clear to get to where you want to go?

Paradise is Here, Paradise is Now .... Paradise is Clearing the Trail...

A million things to do ... and everything to say...

"I tried to schedule time to be creative, but my creativity missed the appointment"....

It was said jokingly by one of my clients, but as I laughed, I also felt a pang of truth - I had been doing the same.  I realized I've been so caught up on scheduling my life to make it all fit, that I hadn't fit in the most important parts - ME. 

It reminded me of the time management parable - I haven't put the big rocks in first.  Problem is, I didn't realize how big the rocks are until I am trying to cram them into the container. 

And so, determined to fit creativity into my day,  I sit with a blank screen of endless possibilities in front of me, and I get twitchy.  I should be studying. I should be preparing my presentation for tomorrow.  I should be getting on that new marketing material.  I should be preparing for the kick-off teleclass for my Mastermind Groups I am having in March.  I should be doing my taxes...

A sip of coffee and a deep breath later, the blank screen before me takes on new meaning.  I have a million things to do today, but very little to say.  How can that even be?  

What are your important rocks?

Perhaps it isn't the size of my to-do list I need to manage - but the weight. 

Reviewing my mile-long to-do list, I wondered - what meaning does my busy-ness have?  What significance?  Most of my list is tedium - taxes, paperwork, cleaning. Why do I feel compelled do these tedious things?  I decided for kicks to write down the value I have that is tied to each task.  Well, because I value honesty and integrity -  I will do my taxes.  I value taking pride in what you have, therefore I will clean my house.

I notice that with each value I think of, I could write an essay on each.  "Taking pride in what I have" reminds me of my Dad carefully greasing his tractor after each use - cleaning it until you could see your reflection in the John Deere green paint.  You would think he was entering his tractor in a parade the way he polished it each day.  His tractors are his pride and joy - they are a direct reflection of how the world sees him.  People don't even have to speak a word with my father to know what his values are - they just have to visit his farm.

Paradise is making a mark

I wonder -are my values showing through my work?

When I complete this list, will people see what I feel?

Certainly, this exercise is making me feel very differently about my to-do list... .no longer is it a list of tedious chores, but a direct statement of my values.  I may not have a John Deere Tractor to spit shine, but the end result is still the same - the finished product is an outward reflection of me.



As I scan down my to-do list, I see "Write New Blog Entry" - I mark it off, and realize it's not about marking things off my to-do list - it's about making a mark.

Paradise is Here, Paradise is Now .... Paradise is making a mark....

Soul Celebration

Destiny Grace - 1/11/1996 - 1/16/2009

Four Years from this Earth, my sweet girl. I imagine a time we are together again... frolicking through daisy peppered fields, laying on our backs and watching the clouds drift by... napping in the sun, and flicking butterflies from your ears. Explore Paradise well my girl, I want to see it all, and have you be my guide when I arrive. Find the best swimming holes to cool ourselves, the best rivers to fish, the most gentle fields to rest..the best trails to explore ... and in the meantime, our adventures live on in my dreams... my beautiful beautiful Destiny.

 

From the first time that I saw you
I know it was forever
This mighty love between us
Will keep us together
You're the girl God sent from heaven
I'm so glad I found you
Forever, forever, forever, forever, forever, forever
I'm so glad to be around you
You are my destiny
You are my one and only
You gave that joy to me
When my whole life was lonely -

          - My Destiny - Lionel Richie

 

Paradise is here... Paradise is now.... Paradise is remembering my Destiny.

2013 - I will take a different path....

Paradise is navigating the twists and turns ...

What if I don't make it? What if I fail? (again) What if I can't do this? What if it doesn't work out?  What if I have to turn back and start all over again.  (again).

My "What If" Gremlin is running amok.  Problem is, Cecilia has a lot of fuel to feed the flame.  I have failed before.  It didn't work out in the past.  I've fallen flat on my face.  I've tried and failed, tried and failed.  I've been down this road before.

There is a mountain in Western Maine that has been my nemesis since 1998. Tumbledown Mountain is that looming goal  - no matter how hard I try, no matter how I research the trail, study the map, pack my gear, and prepare myself for the hike - I have not yet been able to reach the summit.  The first time was because we took an incredibly dangerous trail, and ended up at what they call the "Chimney Sweep" ... and I was literally too fat to fit through the narrow gap in the rocks to reach the summit.  My ex-husband squeaked his thin frame through, took pictures of the views, and came back down to report that there was a boyscout troop at the top.  Astounded I stammered "they allowed children to climb up THAT?!" Pointing to the hole in the rocks that led straight up over a vertical drop.  "No," he meekly admitted "There is an easier trail on the south side"....  Dammit.  Defeated, I hiked back down to the base, determined to find that easier trail next year, or lose weight so I could slide through the rocks next time.

Two years later, I did lose weight.  Destiny and I made a go of the summit this time solo.  She ran ahead of me, bounding up the boulders and scrambling up the rock faces.  As she scrambled to the top of a 15' drop and looked down at me, I froze in fear.  What am I doing here alone?  What if I fall?  I looked down to see how high we were, and I eased my back onto the firm surface of the rock, and shook.  I can't do this - I need to come back with someone.  This is stupid -I have no business being out here by myself.  After twenty minutes of being frozen in fear, I slid down the boulders, firmly holding Destiny's harness so she wouldn't skid off the cliff.  Safely back at the car, I looked up to the summit as it mocked me.  Next time, I will bring a friend, and I will find a different trail... and maybe bring some rope.  I don't want to do this summit alone.

 

Paradise is tackling the summit...

I didn't return to that mountain until 10 years later - this time with MyHoney, Destiny and Derby.  I had thoroughly researched the trail head, the markers and where to start.  I was convinced I had chosen the easiest trail.  We were not going up the Chimney Sweep, but rather we would go the easy trail the boy scouts had been on a decade ago.  This time, Destiny petered out before we could summit.  My poor girl couldn't find the strength to scramble up the rock ledges, so we turned around and hiked back to base camp.   I should have left her home... it was just too much for my old girl.  My bad.

Last summer, I was determined to give the summit another go.  I packed a map, a compass and rope.  I told friends I was out on the trail, and when to expect me back.  I had food, water and supplies. Lexi and I arrived to the mountain, and I started my hike off strong.  About midway up, I couldn't see my hand in front of my face, and was turned back as fog and inclement weather rolled through the region.  Lexi didn't seem to mind frolicking through the lower trails where the fog wasn't socked in.  I was irritated.  This damn mountain just doesn't want me to climb it.  Next time, I need a weather radio. 

Each time I've tried to make the summit, I've learned something new.  I've learned different paths to take.  I've learned who to bring along as hiking partners.  I've learned I need to monitor weather conditions as well as trail conditions.  I've learned what gear to bring, and what gear not to bring.  I've learned how to stake out what direction to take with my compass.  Yet, as I write down on my 2013 goal list "Summit Tumbledown"... I have doubts in my mind.  What if it rains the weekend I plan to do it?  What if I'm not in good enough shape? What if I get lost again?  What if I am just not meant to summit this mountain?

As I was listening to a talk Dr. Wayne Dyer gave "Wishes Fulfilled" - I realized Tumbledown Mountain is more than unconquered summit in my book - it symbolizes every run I take towards a goal, only to slide back down in defeat.  Looking at my goal list for 2013  - there several unconquered summits on the list.  Some I have taken a run at a few times before - just to learn every pitfall and obstacle in my way.  So, while looking at my dreams on paper - the dreams I want so desperately to fulfill - I realize, I need to take a different road - just like I know I need to take a different trail to get to the summit of Tumbledown.  I need better gear, more experienced hiking partners, and the patience to wait for good weather.  I need to prepare myself mentally and physically.  

And, just like changing the trail to take for Tumbledown, the path I need to get to my business goals need to change.  I need to reevaluate who is in my circle -are they helping me get to my goals or holding me back?  Am I mentally and physically fit to work the hours I need to work to attain my goals?  Have I properly prepared by mapping out my plan?  Have I attained the adequate resources to sustain my journey?  Do I need more training and knowledge?  Perhaps I need someone who has already been there to be my guide. 

Autobiography in Five Short Chapters

Chapter 1

I walk down the street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I fall in.
I am lost… I am helpless.
It isn’t my fault.
It takes forever to find a way out.

Chapter 2

I walk down the street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I pretend that I don’t see it.
I fall in again.
I can’t believe I am in this same place.
But, it isn’t my fault.
It still takes a long time to get out.

Chapter 3

I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I see it is there.
I still fall in … it’s a habit … but, my eyes are open.
I know where I am.
It is my fault.
I get out immediately.

Chapter 4

I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I walk around it.

Chapter 5

I walk down another street.

By Portia Nelson

What goals do you have on your list for 2013?  Have you made a run at them before?  What will you do differently this time?

Paradise is Here, Paradise is Now .... Paradise is conquering your Mountain.

** Update - my friend Kelly messaged me after reading this blog post and told me she wants to hike Tumbledown with me this spring, as she has expertly hiked it before.  Stay tuned - I will post pictures of Paradise from the top!