Dog and Butterfly....

There are some things I want so badly, just the desire alone weighs me down like sandbags on a hot air balloon.  There are books I want to write, groups I want to lead, millions I want to make, interviews I want to have, speeches I want to give, people I want to meet, inspire, and have inspire me.  There are countries I want to visit, places I want to travel, foods I want to taste...   And then there are the creature comforts like a home I want to buy, the life I want to live, and the home I want to create.

I have looming deadlines, I have copy to create and get to my graphic designer, outlines to prepare, drafts to write.  Each task to get to the end result felt daunting and painful.  But the end result will be so amazing!  I am creating amazing Mastermind groups that I will facilitate, and I am writing my book.  Those two things thrill me!  When I think of myself holding a book, bound and printed smelling of fresh ink, with "written by Priscilla Hansen"  embossed on the front cover...(and of course a gold sticker on the front announcing it on the New York's Best Sellers List) I get so excited I could leap out of my skin.  When I think about the Mastermind classes, and the throngs of people I plan to have sign up and share in this amazing experience - my heart skips a beat. I want to achieve these goals so much, I dream about them... I think about them while brushing my teeth, while taking a shower, while driving to work... So why does each step I need to take to get there feel like my feet are encased in cement?  I even took four days off to dedicate to my efforts... and at the end of day three, I didn't have much more to show for it, besides a cleaner apartment, a neatly arranged junk drawer, and read two books that other people had written.

Frustrated at my writers block, I decided to "procrastinate" a little more and take Lexi for a walk.  I pulled on my Merrill hiking boots, and Lexi immediately recognized this as a sign that we were about to have an adventure.  Spinning in circles, she whirled like a top until I was finally on my feet and walking behind her.  She bounded ahead, then glanced back quickly to make sure I was still following, and hadn't played a terrible trick on her by changing my mind.  

The first part of our hike is through a path that cuts down the back side of our neighborhood.  This part of the woods is dark and shady, and chipmunks dart back and forth in a game of keep away from Lexi.  She has been down this path a hundred times, but the game remains the same - trot along as quietly and light footed as possible, and as soon as a little bugger squeals and chatters - the chase is on.  The chipmunks (who have also played this game a hundred times before) take off in a scurry, and leap through the air, catch the closest tree branch and swirl up the tree like a cork screw leaving Lexi at the bottom on her hind legs wishing that she too could scurry up and continue the chase.  They then sit on a branch just above her reach and taunt her in a version of "nanner-nanner-boo-boo" and send her in a tizzy.  After a few seconds, she realizes she is still earth bound, drops down to all fours and trit-trots down the path again... until the next chippy makes his move.  Completely forgetting about past failures, her second attempt is just as, if not more optimistic than the first, and she leaps through the thickets in hot pursuit.  Her efforts once again thwarted, she leaps back on to the path, and gives me a confident smile "Next time Momma.. you wait and see... I'll get 'em."

No matter how many times we walk the path, no matter how many chipmunks she chases, and no matter how many times she comes up empty... she never, ever gives up the chase.  She never says "Why bother."  In fact... the thrill is in the chase.

The thrill is in the chase.

See the dog and butterfly; up in the air he like to fly.
Dog and butterfly; below she had to try.
She roll back down to the warm soft ground, laughing
She don't know why, she don't know why
Dog and butterfly

So I stopped in my tracks and I asked myself, "Lexi wants to catch a chipmunk... What do you want?"
I want to be a writer ... echoed the answer.
"So you want to write a book?"

Well.. ya...but more importantly -  I want to write.  I want to live the life of a writer.  I want to create, I want words to flow, I want to have that feeling of satisfaction when people are touched by what I write.

"Just like Lexi doesn't want just catch a chipmunk... she wants to chase chipmunks"...That's right.  Dog and butterfly.  Laughing to the sky. Up to the sky. She has to try.

Maybe it's livin' making us give in.

We finally rounded the corner of the path, and entered the pole line where the terrain opens up to thick blueberry shrubs, blackberry thickets and long grasses.  The chipmunks became a distant memory to Lexi, and grasshoppers, birds, and yes, even butterflies became the objects of Lexi's desires... and she skittered around the corner kicking up sand and pebbles in hot pursuit.  Laughing to the sky, up to the sky ... 

Paradise is Here, Paradise is Now.... Paradise is in the chase....