Staying Afloat...

"I look to the sea
Reflections in the waves spark my memory
Some happy, some sad
I think of childhood friends and the dreams we had" ~ Come Sail Away ~ Styx


We pulled up to the boat launch after noontime, with the kayaks strapped to the top of my Subaru, and two nearly frantic dogs loaded in the back.  Derby and Lexi could barely contain their excitement as they watched me and MyHoney unpack the contents of the car, unload the kayaks and carry them down to the outlet of the river.  Finally, leashes in hand, we opened the back hatch of the car and each retrieved a four-legged ball of energy.  I zipped up Lexi's life vest, and MyHoney coaxed Derby into his.... both dogs are now ready for an adventure - and their owners were ready for a day of drifting and dreaming. 

At the waters edge, we unsnapped the leashes and settled into our boats - Lexi immediately loaded up into my kayak - her regular perch where she can pretend to be Queen of Sheba.




Derby, on the other hand, doesn't even acknowledge that we have boats and plows into the water and starts his swim-a-thon.  He loyally follows MyHoney's kayak as we make our way down river towards the gut of the pond.  Once through the rapids, Lexi grows bored and walks out the the bow of my boat and leaps in to join her comrade.  Now game is on.  The two swim like otters, racing and playing on the shore.  They bound and race down the shore line as if on fire, then crash back into the water - laughing and smiling and looking for their humans.  They just can't understand why we choose to float when you could run and swim.



Because we live in Maine, there are places like this to enjoy.  The dogs can run wild and free along side the edge of the water, and MyHoney and I are free to paddle gently and enjoy the day.  With the sun on our backs, and the water gently rippling against our boats - worries can't find us.  I reached back and pulled MyHoney's boat up close and planted a kiss on him.  Love lives here... floating on the sun drenched water.

As I paddled I realized just how removed I was from my "ordinary" existence.  Here - out here - with the blue water, the green pines, and the sparkling sun - I am an adventurer.  I am the woman I imagine myself to be.  I am the woman I write about, the woman I tell other people I am, the woman who represents myself when I am dreaming.  I am able, strong, athletic, outdoorsy, rugged.   I am not that tired, stressed out, over-weight, overwhelmed, mad woman who is rushing around trying to get everything done.  Done for what?  Done for whom?  What exactly am I rushing around trying to get DONE?  This is the golden ring right here... this, this moment, and this moment alone, is all I ever really wanted.  I've dreamed about this ... seriously... I have.... and now, today, out on the water with my two dogs, the love of my life, and with the paddle in my hand - I'm living it.  So... relax Cilly... you are here.  You are exactly where you should be.  You always have been.



 The next day, "re-entry" into the "real world" was a bumpy ride.  Sunburned and sleepy, I awoke and ground some coffee beans for a morning cupa java.  I reviewed my to-do list, and was abruptly reminded of a deadline I had for the week.  My gut twisted as I thought about the amount of work I have yet to get done, and a pang of guilt shadowed over me thinking about the hours I frittered away yesterday on the water.  I poured myself a bowl of kashi, blueberries and soymilk, but instead of sitting down at the computer, I went out to my porch to drink my coffee, eat my cereal and watch the chickens make their morning march around the house.  My thoughts drifted back to the day before... I thought about how peaceful I felt, how complete my life was in that one little moment.  I had my entire world drifting along with me.  I thought about the sun on our backs, the glistening water... the conversations MyHoney and I had.  I wished every day could be like that.  I looked at my phone, noticed it was getting late, and realized I needed to get in the shower if I was going to get to work on time. Back to the daily grind.  But, having that Sunday, and hopefully many more like it... inspires me to keep my life afloat.

Paradise is Here, Paradise is Now .... Paradise is Staying Afloat ....